Mommy Hates Cooking

{Part 5} It’s Time to Jump…

{Part 5}  It's Time to Jump...

FEAR.

We all have demons in our lives, right?  The ones inside our heads?  Mine is FEAR.

I would say my FEAR is mixed in with a lot of worry and stress.

I know many people would attribute their childhood to those inner demons, but I had a good childhood.  I had parents who encouraged me in every way possible and still do.  Even with a good upbringing, I still battled (battle) FEAR.

I battled it to the point that I felt like it kept me within arms reach.  Each time I was ready to step into the will of God, I was being strangled by fear that wrapped up and fed me lies about how I wasn’t good enough.

I missed out on many things in high school and college because I bought into the lies of never being good enough.  I passed up several opportunities in my life because I would run the other way out of fear of failure or fear of not being good enough.

Now here I was sitting at church on a regular Sunday morning listening to this message from our pastor on, “Chosen:  God Makes a Way.”

(If you want to hear the life changing message for me, click HERE then scroll down to 7/24/11 “Chosen:  God Makes a Way”)

The gist of the message is that there are times in our lives when we are standing at the edge of the river, our Jordan River in our life, and God is saying that we have to step in so He can take us to the next step.  If we just stand there at the edge and are too scared to get in, we start to miss out on where we are called to go or be in our life.

{Part 5}  It's Time to Jump...

As I sat there listening to this, I felt like it was being spoken directly to me.  I’ve never felt that so much in my life until this particular day.  It was everything in me not to stand up on my seat and yell…”God, I know you are talking to me but what about this FEAR that keeps strangling me?  It doesn’t let me go out of arms reach and then I’m being battled by it all over again!  WHY?”

I was playing this out in my head battling with my own thoughts when I felt God say, “Because even though you feel like you have faith in Me, you don’t.  Each time you are scared instead of looking fear in the face, you grab on to it and let go of Me.”

Well…God, you don’t sugar coat things now do you?

At this point in my life, I felt like I had really fought over my fears, I thought I left this fear fight back in high school and college.  Apparently not though, I took it with me only I didn’t notice because it was creeping behind me waiting for me to step into the will of God.  That’s what those demons in our lives are like, right?  They wait for you, if you are silent, they are silent.  As soon as you think about doing what you are called to do, they are ready for action to fight against you.

This time there was just one little problem for that little demon in my life.

I was over him.  I had it.  I had been held back by that four letter word, FEAR, all my life and this time I was pretty sure God and his entire army would be with me.

As we left church that day, I could hardly get out of my seat when we were going to leave because I was so taken back by the timing of it all and the message that day.  I looked over to my husband who was also still sitting and trying to take it all in.  I just looked at him and he said, “You know, it’s time for you to step up and take this risk.  It’s time for you to quit your job and put your heart into what your passion is for.  I believe in you.”  Yep, in some roundabout way he basically said, just do it.

I told my family about the message at church that day just as soon as I got out of church.  I got an email back from my sister that said, “It’s about time.”  My parents were the exact same way.  So, apparently I was the only one that didn’t believe in myself.

{Part 5}  It's Time to Jump...

It was not so much about the blog or about taking my blog to the next level.  For years now, I wanted to stay home and work from home, but I felt like I had nothing to offer.  My sister would constantly tell me all the ways I could make money at home in a variety of different levels.  Not only that she was the coupon queen at the time and would tell me about how much I could save and cut corners so that I could stay home.  I still would go back in my shell, determined I was never good enough to see that dream come to pass.

This time, I saw it.  I clearly saw it with everything in me.  As I made the decision that day that we were going to do this, and I was going to JUMP into the river.  I could feel the chains break off me, I could feel the air start circulating again inside me.  I could feel God reach out and grab my hand and say “it’s about time.”

I walked into work the next day and…

Quit.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Romans 8:28

   

9 Responses to “{Part 5} It’s Time to Jump…”

  1. Mia @ MakeMeUpMiaposted March 20, 2014 at 11:38 am

    Woo hoo for punching fear in the face! And look where the jump has led you :) I love it. We’ll be sharing more soon, but Dustin and I listed our house for sale and are moving to the beach, Florida, as soon as it sells! We let fear talk us out of it last year, and this time we are JUMPING! I told my work this week, I’m leaving my great job of almost 8 years, and currently have no idea where we will work or where we will end up but it’s happening and we’re very excited about it! Can’t wait to read the next installment of your journey!

    Reply

    • Mia @ MakeMeUpMiareplied March 20th, 2014 at 11:39 am

      My work is very supportive by the way, I can continue on until it’s time to go!

    • Kristy Stillreplied March 20th, 2014 at 11:41 am

      WHAT?!?!?! I just got goosebumps, I am SO excited for you all and SO jealous!! Take me with you! :)

  2. Jennifer Bowmanposted March 20, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    God is doing amazing things in your life. I love being part of your life journey.

    Reply

  3. Laurenposted March 20, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    Good for you! Follow where your heart takes you and everything will fall into place!

    Reply

  4. B. Winbladposted March 22, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    OMG, this spoke to me on such a deep level Kristy! We are kind of in the same boat as Mia right now and it is exhausting, but SO amazingly exciting!

    A little over a month ago, we listed our 6 year old home and began building a new one. We hadn’t planned on doing it all in this order. Our plan was to sell our current one first, bank the money, then build the new one. But, God always has another plan, doesn’t he? About a week after we listed our home, we found a perfect lot and a house plan we loved. The builder was offering huge incentives that we just could not pass up. We knew we wanted this house and if we were to sit and wait until our’s sold, we would miss out on about $25,000 that we would end up paying later when we did build this very plan just because of timing. We jumped feet first and I have prayed a lot. I finally (for the most part) have left it all in God’s hands to best help us along this process. I am a planner by nature and worry worry worry, along with stressing. This process goes against all that I know, but it just felt right and the way it was suppose to happen.
    We have had 18 showings, with another so far scheduled for tomorrow in just over a month. We are getting great traffic through the door and great feedback, but just haven’t found the one buyer yet to make an offer.
    We still have 6 months until the new home is ready, so we have plenty of time. It is just hard to let go and jump sometimes.

    I know we can do it. We moved from California to the mid-west in 2006, packing up everything we owned with no jobs in the works, just a new house to move in to and a new area to become acclimated to. We did just fine then and I know we can do just fine again!

    Reply

    • Kristy Stillreplied March 23rd, 2014 at 7:12 pm

      WOW!!! That’s an amazing story, you will sell in God’s perfect timing! I haven’t shared our home buying/selling story yet, but we actually had been praying over the house we wanted to buy for months and that ours would sell and it would still be on the market so we could buy the new one. Turns out that the day we got an offer on our house and accepted, was the same day my husband came home with a raise at his job making the new home even more affordable. Then, we found out the couple whose home we were purchasing were building and they were hoping for buyers as soon as they moved out. We came within weeks of them moving out. Then…as we signed the papers, we realized we were buying the home of a couple from our church and we didn’t even know it! It was just completely God orchestrated. I know yours will be too. If I’ve learned anything in my life it’s that God’s timing is always perfect! Praying for you all!

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